raverbaby

Hi all,.. so basically just taking another break from studying and I feel a million times better today. I had malt weats (like shreddies) for breakfast with milk. For lunch 3 slices of chicken with salad and tortilla wrap and then for dinner I had a tortilla wrap, beans and 2 slices of chicken. Sounds like alot but you know what, i dont regret it, it was GOOD. First day of having three big meals in what feels like forever. Having been thinking about food, just in general so much happier and can get on with studying more now. Less distractions and trying to ignore hunger pains. Still haven’t snaked yet or eaten anything super bad. Probably had 1500 ckals today which is what I should be having but i usually prefer to have less. Anywho, must study. Tomorrow i’m going into town to buy an alarm clock for my exams HOW EXCITING and i’ll have a starbucks frappacino light YAYYYYYYYYYYY

isnt my life just DA BOMB. *throws up*

So today was the first day that I didnt have any weighing scales and tbh, it annoyed the f*ck out of me. I love the scales…Even if they do say something really bad. I’m so used to standing on them daily. Nearly walked into the city today just to use the scales in boots.. and also to get starbucks but then i thought wtf am i doing, i have revision, my random urges must wait! Today I ate a bit more than usual, bowl of malt wheats with milk, chicken with potatoe salad in a tortilla wrap and a black coffee. Later i’ll have a tiny bowl of cereal or i wont eat at all  because i feel bad for having such a big lunch will do some exercise. I want to go running but i havent got the right clothes for it. I’ll just do some dance dvds indoors. Just want to be 181lbs (11st 13lbs) by 10th June. Maybe i’m aiming too high to lose 6lbs in two weeks :/

Ok so basically I am currently studying for my exams. Not only have I had to cancel a trip to thorpe park but I will have to start eating more so that i can actually concentrate on my studies… Just means that I have to increase my exercise in order to stop putting on anymore weight. Still never ever going to touch chocolate again though or junk food. My mini goal is 11st 13lbs by 10th June. Which should be obtainable considering I have NO money for food, yep…Not even joking *-* I’ve got like a budget of £5 for food until Wednesday so i’m just going to buy a packet of cereal and long life milk (like 50p) a packet of chicken and then i get a free salad with pasta each night at uni. I’ll bring some tuna from home & i’ll buy a bag of apples too…OoO I have beans at uni, yay! Lol. Fml. All I need is coffee and starbucks anyway so i don’t care. FRAPACCINO POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Well i’m assuming that the majority of it is organic but either way I don’t really care too much aslong as it’s fresh. Heres an example of what I have this week - chicken, raw salmon (omg yum 0_o) ,fruit n fibre cereal, tomatoes, peppers, houmous, kiwis, beans, potatoes etc

Well its not all perfect but alot of it is natural! I’m hoping if i improve on my diet then I can stop taking stupid iron pills. It’s cos becfore i never used to eat fruit/ veg OR red meat so i was like a zombie living off cofffee and chocolate. Oh and alcohol. Fuck it. Done with alcohol now anyway, apart from my precious alcopops lol I love them.

Wanna go running today but i’m at uni and i don’t want to be spotted running around with all of my flab flapping all over the place. Oh dear.. Anywho yesterday was the first day of my new fresh food diet, I had to have a little packet of malteasers cos i was trying to ween myself off them so hopefully today the kiwi sugar will be enough and I won’t crave chocolate. The first day is always the hardest. I’ve got to go into the city now (Canterbury, England) to sort out my finances and buy some new jeans. I only have one pair of jeans which fit me right now. Ewww. People are gonna start sniffing me if I don’t get some new ones.

Will update this later in the week to document my amazing success/miserable faliure

Much love x

I’ve been so busy lately, haven’t had a moments peace to myself! *Collapses*

I love being busy though… working and uni and a new work trial tomorrow which hopefully i’ll get the job for yipeee

anywho! Been doing an hours worth of jogging a day across the heath. They have these things called glory bumps you run up, excellent for burning calories. Me and my sister are really serious about getting in shape even though shes actually super skinny. I have work a 10 tomorrow so we’re going to get up at 6.30am so we can fit in an hours worth of jogging lol sounds extreme but i made a committment to working out and I have to stick to it now! I even bought amazing running trainers and a sports bra today.  I have only 27 days until my 21st birthday and I want to be a dress size smaller. Tbh i’m not really focusing on weighing myself at the moment, i’m just going to go by my clothes and other peoples comments on my size. I’d love to be able to fit into size 12 jeans again but maybe that will take longer than a month.. hmm.. anyway.. As it stands, 2 days exercise, 1 day break and repeat the pattern throughout the week.

So… tomorrow after I visit the sis in hosp im meeting up with a few friends to go shopping in oxford st <3 and then seeing my bf for a while. After this ill prob up in the pub with the eltham lot.. but im not drinking. This summer has been insane. & I admit to drinking too often, whoops! Its only just occured to me just how unhealthy it is to binge drink so im not drinking anything for the next two weeks, which is going to be tough. Im not touching cigarettes either..like ever again. Especially since my asthma has come back, bad times!

Im enjoying this little detox thing i have going on right now. Infact i’ve lost 4 pounds this week which is rather nice. Im going to LED festival on friday and i want to drink ofcourse…and then there’s notting hill carnival.. ARGH. Will power is a must. I’m not an alcoholic btw, i just love my martinis and cocktails.

I have freshers week in 3 weeks = ] Cant wait to settle into my new ‘home’. Hopefully I can maintain a healthy diet @ uni.

P.s im so close to being able to fit into my size 12 jeans = ] YEAH!

Yep, this blog is pretty much what it says on the tin. I never, ever, thought that i’d see the day when i actually enjoyed exercising! Seriously guys, if you haven’t joined up to a gym yet, do it!

Anywho, i’ve been attending the gym everyday since i joined up and i’ve been completing atleast 1.5-2 hours of working out. Tbh, i’ve probably been doing TOO much and because of this, I will allow myself a day off tomorrow yes..im going to be so lazy and just chill out with friends. Toy story 3 is also on the cards, YESSSSS! Life is too buff right now.. even though its 4am now and i have to get up at 10am *thumbs down*

hoping to be back down to 12 stone by next wednesday, little steps at a time  eh..

Basically.. my life is so unbelievably amazing right now.

I have the most amazing bf, he is just.. ahhh perfect. You have no idea how good it feels to say that i’m happy because i havent been for probably a year or so now. & thats one of the main reasons why i put on so much weight. I just kept eating and i didnt exercise, i just didnt care about my life.

But now.. just wow. The best thing i ever did in my life was let go off my last relationship (if you even want to call it that)

it was really weird, i cant even remeber how it ended lol i think one day i just never spoke to him again. & then a few days later I met my bf. He’s crazy as fuck and i love it. For example last saturday he took his clothes off and went streeking through one of the most busiest locations in london just to make me and his friend olgy laugh. Then we met up with some other groups of friends and went drinking and had the best time fucking around on roundabouts etc. ahh and on the friday we pretended that we were pimps and was handing out leaflets of some prostetutes that we found in a telephone box. He gets my sense of humour When i’m with him there is never a dull moment.. i’ve only been with him for just over a month and memories that we have together are some of my best. I’ve found myself again..i’m no longer just that empty girl who pretends that i’m content with loneliness. I remeber what music i like, what things i like to do, how i like to look and because i remeber these things its possible for me to finally be happy because i remeber ME not just some girl who ive pretended to be. He geninuely cares about me too, he was worth the wait to meet. After all the shit i went through last year i would put myself through it again JUST so i could have met him the way i did. He has to go home to Turkey next month for a few weeks but hopefully i will make a suprise trip out there just to see him.

Maybe it wont last forever but atleast its taught me one of the biggest things in life, never loose yourself! If you do then you cant be happy.

I dont think ive ever felt this way about somebody I feel so alive and well in myself. This just proves that everything happens for a reason. ahhh must stop smiling now! Anyway, since i’ve been with him i’ve lost quite a few pounds because i dont think about food, mind and life is too preoccupied with other things. I’m 12st right now so hopefully by next week i can lose another pound or two. Walking 30 mins a day really works. and having little snacks too.

x

So for a week now i’ve been walking for 30-60 mins a day. I’ve done it by making simple changes such as getting off the bus earlier so I HAVE to walk further than usual, taking stairs instead of lifts, etc. I want to start jogging too but i need a running buddy/the right clothes. I have no decent exercise clothes. I’ve been eating sensibly too. Sorry this blog is really boring lol… PIE

Pretty much what it says on the tin. I always get in from college and im soooo hungry that i munch on ready made meals/ crap, but atleast this way i have no excuse and it IS instant. I’m actually going to do it properly this time, im so fed up of half doing things. I need to be under 12 stone for my bday because i havent achieved much else this year tbh. Anywho will update later. Hope everyones doing great.